Think Yourself Rich
They say that the secret to success is all in the mind, but can that really be true? Is it really as simple as thinking yourself rich?
There has been a lot of talk in the female entrepreneur circles (that’s how I roll these days…) about money mindset. Manifestation and the Law of Attraction are increasingly topics that come up in the various Facebook groups that I belong to. Given the nature of my work, I have also been asked to speak about it a few times. But is being rich and successful really just a matter of thinking? Obviously it’s not as simple as that, but mindset does have a lot to do with it. And it all begins with awareness.
It stands to reason that you can only deal with things once you know that they are an issue. The tricky thing with money blocks is that they have a habit of seeming like something else. For example, we say things like “I’m not being cheap, I’m being careful”, when in reality we’re actually just afraid that we won’t have enough money to cope with anything unexpected. This is a potential money block, and there are others.
A money block is a negative subconscious belief about money that restricts you from achieving your goals.
Money blocks can show up in a number of different guises and for a whole host of reasons. Certainly your upbringing and your family’s approach to money has a significant impact. You might have grown up in a household with a healthy attitude to money. Your parents might have said things like “money is a gift that can help you to help other people”. On the other hand, if your parents regularly fought over money and lamented about how “the rich just keep getting richer while the rest of us suffer”, then it’s no surprise if you secretly harbor the view that money is somehow bad or dangerous.
Money blocks are even in our lexicon, though the phrase itself has only gained popularity in the last few years.
Easy come, easy go
Money is the root of all evil
Money can’t buy you happiness
Never a lender, nor a borrower be.
Sayings such as these all contribute to our societal perception of money as a fundamentally unreliable and treacherous thing.
Like anyone who has ever had a less than perfect lover might say, my relationship with money is…complicated. Being your own boss has a habit of bringing sh*t up to the surface. Confidence issues? Check! Impostor syndrome? I’m down for that! Fear of failure? I got you, girl! So, it’s no surprise that me and my bad boyfriend ‘Money’ were going to have a few run-ins once I became self-employed.
The problems started even before Aurora did.
“How can I set up my own business? It’s going to cost money that I don’t have and I won’t be earning money that I need!”
There’s that negative mindset masquerading as practicality again! Money blocks can stop you from even getting out of the gate. But if you’re somehow able to push past that fear, then there are plenty more ready to derail you at every turn.
Fear that I’ll never make it
Fear that I will
Guilt over wanting more from life when others have so little (it just seems so greedy…)
See what I mean? But try as I might to shy away from my own ambition, it’s still there, kicking and screaming and desperate to be let out. The only fear greater than my fear of success, is my fear of mediocrity. And clowns…. The idea that all that striving will have been for nought and all evidence of my existence will disappear into oblivion when I die, is almost too painful for me to bear. So I, like everyone who desires to succeed, must break down the invisible barriers that money blocks put up, because we cannot leave a legacy if we’re standing in our own way.
Money scripts are money beliefs that are typically unconscious, developed in childhood, passed down from generation to generation within families and cultures, contextually bound, and often only partial truths.
Drs Brad and Ted Klontz coined the phrase “money scripts” to describe the narrative that we each have surrounding cash. A money script can be either positive or negative and will fall into one of four categories: avoidance, worship, status, or vigilance. Money blocks refer specifically to the negative aspects of each script.
This category is home for those of us who subscribe to the adage that money is the root of all evil. Money Avoiders tend to be wealthier and better educated. However we struggle with the belief that we don’t deserve money or wealth. Money Avoiders also believe that living with less is virtuous and that being wealthy is greedy or corrupt, thus they unconsciously behave in a way that means that they have less of it. Money avoiders might self sabotage with
- Under charging
- Over spending
- Ignoring money (e.g. financial statements)
Money avoiders also know that money can solve problems, so we often wrestle with the conflict of wanting more and wanting to be satisfied with as little as possible. This has me written all over it!
Drs Klontz suggest the following tips for Money Avoiders like myself:
- Make becoming financially informed a routine: fix regular, scheduled meetings with someone who will hold you accountable for reviewing your finances. For example, weekly meeting with your business partner or monthly meetings with your spouse.
- Reprogram your association with money from negative to positive: make a list of all the good deeds that you can accomplish when you hit certain income goals, and go for them. It might be helpful to develop a mantra that will reiterate why money is good for you and why you deserve it.
- Set budgeting goals and reward yourself: if you can stick to your achievable and realistic budgeting goals, then there is no reason why you can’t reward yourself.
Money Worshippers see money as a great thing and believe that it will solve all their problems. The trouble is, they can never have enough money. The pursuit of money for them can be all consuming, and yet never satisfy. They tend to sabotage themselves by
- Over-spending on credit cards
- Buying things that they don’t need
- Putting work ahead of family
We live in a material world, so money worship is common. The Drs suggest the following to help money worshippers swim against the tide:
- Ditch the impulse buying: this can lead to buyers remorse after the post-spending high has worn off. Instead put some time and if necessary distance between yourself and the thing that you want to buy. Challenge yourself to slow down and ask questions before you buy. Is this something that I need? Why do I want this? Does buying this tie into my goals?
- Put family first: make time for the most important people in your life. Attaching money to happiness is bad for your mental health and your relationships. Instead prioritize the people who are there for you when the money runs out. And don’t forget to make time for yourself. It is important that you do not burnout in your quest for riches.
- Give to others: there is a good reason why this is one of the cornerstones of mental wellbeing. It is important that you master the art of generosity so that you can put your love of money in perspective. Money is to be spent so share it with people who need it through charitable donations, or on family and friends.
The Money Status seekers are those who link their self worth to their bank balance. For them, it is important to display wealth through the trappings that are associated with it (the car, the house, the holidays…). These guys might struggle with
- Gambling excessively
- Financial dependence on others
- Hidden expenditures from loved ones
If this sounds like you, then you need to understand that you are more than your net worth. These strategies can help:
- Check your spending: ask some questions before making a significant purchase. Why are you buying it? How will you feel afterwards and will that feeling last? Don’t shy away from really exploring the emotional connection you have with spending money and owning things. There might be a better way to meet that emotional need.
- Be open about your finances: it will help if you are open abut what you have spent and why. Make a regular time to review your finances with your partner or friend, so that you can take control over your finances.
- Focus on your emotional and physical health: it is time you invested in your wellbeing. Being so focused on building up your finances is likely to have taken its toll on other areas of your life. Take care to focus on yourself and the people who matter.
Money Vigilant people are the meerkats of the money world. They’re alert, careful and considerate of their finances. These are the people who don’t believe in handouts and work hard for every penny. They avoid spending on credit and are rarely found in debt. They are private, yet not secretive, when it comes to their finances. The Money Vigilant risk being
- Hesitant and overly cautious
- Anxious about spending
- Viewed as cheap or tight
If this is you, then the Drs suggest that you should:
- Have a fun budget: think of something that your loved ones would enjoy, something that you might normally consider frivolous expenditure, and do it. Learn to enjoy the benefits of being careful, which are that you can occasionally splurge, guilt free, safe in the knowledge that things are under control.
- Buy something that you want but don’t really need: that’s right, take a leap and spend some of that hard earned cash on something fun, just for you!
- Have a trusted advisor; preferably someone who has a different perspective on money, to help you view things from a slightly different angle.
So there you have it. Money blocks come in all different shapes and sizes and we’ve all got them. The question is, what are you going to do about yours?
At Aurora Wellness we are all about self-improvement & productivity. To discover ways in which you can maximise your full potential and learn skills to grow your business, contact us for information about our online productvity programmes for female entrepreneurs.
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With over 15 years of management experience behind me I love to see women succeed at work and home. When I'm not doling out advice, I can be found sitting mute on the sofa watching tv with my husband or refereeing fights between my two kids.